So lately I've been having wedding nightmares. Most of the time it's about me showing up and nothing has been done. Like it's suddenly the day of our wedding and I'm there but nothing is right, or nothing is there.
Most recently the whole day was wrong. I didn't have flowers and FFIL had to go buy random ones at the grocery store and my bouquet was only a few stems while my girls had huge arrangements. I wasn't dressed and everyone was arriving and I was standing outside and everyone saw me getting into my dress. My BM's were late arriving because they had no idea what time the wedding was. Etc. etc. etc. I wonder if it's normal to have dreams like that, or if it means I'm a bridezilla and need to let someone else have a little bit of control over some of this day. I'm sure the nightmares will abound tonite because I had a theme change scare earlier this evening. I am obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. Everyone who knows me knows it. I'm in a sorority and my paddle my big made me is Alice. I could teach a class or write a book on Alice philosophy. So tonite I get this idea in my head that I want an Alice wedding. And oy vey did it get out of control fast. It started with cute ideas like "drink me" tea bag favors and "open me" envelope seals for our invites, but quickly escalated to our groomsmen wearing top hats and having a croquet game set up outside. I got it out of my system then took a step back and decided it would get overly corny way too fast. Maybe I can convince whoever throws my shower to have a Very Merry Unbridal Shower and let me plan it. Sometimes I wish it was next year at this time. While I know I'll be way more stressed out, the wedding will also be closer and I'll at least know all the major details (venue, vendors, date, time, etc.) have been taken care of.
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So I've been gathering ideas and doing research since we got engaged in December, and now that it's June I'm actually starting to put some of that homework to use. I've recently finished the first of five tissue paper poms for our ceremony space. They truly are a labor of love, but I think they'll be so very worth it in the end.  I also started working on my "Mrs. Neal" dress hanger today. It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be. The "Mrs." has looked awesome for both of my trials... but the "Neal" is a PITA. I'm gonna keep trying to get it right though. If not, I might just make an "I do" hanger or a "bride" hanger for sanity's sake. Chris and I also visited our first venue this Wednesday. It's the Clubhouse at Hilltop Farm, which is home to the West Mont United Soccer Association. The Clubhouse is gorgeous, but small. We could definitely make it work. It's also within our budget (so affordable!) and lets us have an outside caterer and is BYOB, so that's also a major plus. It's set up perfectly for making entrances and walking down aisles, so that's another selling point. I have a list of about 5 more venues to look at, and then we'll start dragging our moms out to look at our top choices and give us some input.  (ceremony space... porta potties would be removed!)  (reception space as viewed from upper balcony)  (deck where we'd have the cocktail hour and our bar) Finally, I have asked all of my girls to be in my wedding party. Surprisingly, Britta seems to be more excited than anyone. Mine is the first wedding she's been asked to be in, and she said she's actually gotten online and looked up bridesmaid etiquette. I don't expect any of my girls to do anything except show up, but it's really nice to know I can count on her to come over and help with some of my wedding projects as they come up.
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